Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
