just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
