I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
