So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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