No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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