im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
