shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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