I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
