I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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