"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
