walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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