she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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