out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
