I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I wish there were birth control emojis
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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