It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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