How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
