i would punch a child for taco bell
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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