Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
