Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
