At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
