this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
