Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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