its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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