You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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