margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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