Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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