Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
