We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Let's get the cat blown out
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