hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
