Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
