I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
her vagine was all disorganized.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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