hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
It's just like the Real World with babies
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
