when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize