If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
