Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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