I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
