meet me or not, i'm out of control
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
The cops high fived after they tackled you
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
