You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
