Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize