i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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