She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
