super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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