I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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