What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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