it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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