Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
