So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
