It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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