I hate all girls vehemently.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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