a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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