i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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