the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
