I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
