Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
