I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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