"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Randomize
