I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
