First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
