If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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