What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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