Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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