and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
