I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
