Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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